Lunch Out

Friday I met up with Nafisa (who I had been put in contact with by a law school friend) who's parents are Bangladeshi, but grew up in Columbus Ohio, did a Fullbright here after college, met a Bangladeshi guy, fell in love, got married, went back with him to America, is getting her PhD at Berkely but is here for the summer doing some research into NGOs and microlending. I met her and her husband, Sumon, for lunch in Banani. This meant I had to take a rickshaw from Gulshan 1 (where my office is) to the neigboring area. As luck would have it, Nafisa called me on my cell right as I had flagged down a rickshaw wallah, and so she was able to direct him (which if I had tried would invariably have ended in disaster).

While Nafisa was speaking to the rickshaw wallah, an old woman approached me with her hands outstretched. Normally, as I have written about many times, I don't tend to give money to beggars, but because she was by herself (so I didn't have to worry about being swarmed by other beggars) and I happened to have some small bills easily accessible I decided to give her 10 taka. I handed her the bill and proceeded to get on the rickshaw. She said, what I thought was expressing gratitude, but then to my surprise handed me back the money. She pointed to her arm said the words “operation” and then said “100 taka” (all in English). I was taken aback, and handed her the 10 taka again. She grabbed my hand and kept saying “Madam 100 taka,” The rickshaw driver yelled at her to leave me alone, and I had to wrench my arm free of her and motion for him to start pedaling, and she tried to follow. This is definitely the last time I will ever give money to a beggar. I will probably continue to buy the children little treats, if the opportunity presents itself, but this experience was just so disturbing, that I do not want it repeated.

Besides the rather traumatizing start, the rickshaw ride itself was rather nice. There are 2 bridges between Gulshan and Banani (as they are separated by a lake). Before this I had only taken the northern bridge as it is much closer to my apartment. The southern one is more modern, and provides a much more scenic journey. Although using the word “scenic” here can be slightly misleading. The lake looked nice, the kids jumping into the lake from the side of the bridge were adorable, and the bridge itself was very fine piece of engineering, but (of course there was going to be a but) it also goes right by the Karail slum where about 15,000 Bangladeshis live in abject poverty, sandwiched between two of the most affluent areas in the city. As you reach the Banani side of the lake, Karail is to your left, and a nice, guarded apartment complex is to your right. The houses are open air shacks, packed right next to each other, and many sit on stilts above the lake. There were naked children hanging out near the entrance to Karail, and they all seemed like they were having a fun time. We smiled at each other as I drove by and one them waved at me. (Disclaimer: I didn't take the above picture, just found it on the internet.) 
I think in some ways I am coming to terms with all of this, in the sense that I just am realizing that there is no way to come to terms with it really. I can spend my time here sad, miserable, and most importantly very guilty or I can accept it as part of life (regardless of right or wrong or whatever) and take as much of it in as I can without judgment. This is so much more easier said than done obviously, but it is something I really am trying to work on.
Anyway, I met Nafisa and Sumon at Coffee World. We also happpend to run into J.R. (the grad student from Tufts I had met last week) and so he joined us as well. Nafisa and Sumon were both incredibly nice and both really interesting. JR told us about the field visit he had been on this past week to very rural towns in Bangladesh. Some of the people he met told him that he was the first foreigner they had ever seen. When he went to a market he would attract about 100 people following him, and touching him. It sounds like it was a pretty incredible experience.
Today I had planned to finally do some sightseeing, and yet of course it has rained all day so I am stuck at home.